Citrine: Scene 1
Bb Minor Erschuttert
Note to self, pomegranate runs right through you.
So I'm sitting on the toilet, which is where I always do my best thinking anyway. I had just nearly run over Tryst desperately trying to make it to the wash room in time to keep from peeing myself. First, I had gone to the wrong room, and then I thought I was going to have to break into the new room as the door wouldn't open to my authorization band at first. When I finally got the door open and ran like I was on fire to the wash room, I smacked squarely into Tryst.
Note to self #2, the next time you make an excuse to leave somewhere remember how this excuse came back to bite you squarely on the ass. Literally.
Yeah, I got that. Maybe you'll remember it then. I doubt it. I know.
Why the hell was Tryst here? Did he find out about the break in? Panic. No, there's no way he could know about that. Right? I need to calm down now. And I need to get off the toilet. Hellfire. You CAN be cool can't you? Of course you can. So finish washing up and go be cool. Because you can't be cool sitting on a toilet. I washed my hands and exited the washroom.
I opened my eyes to a face full of carpet.
“Apparently I arrived at an appropriate time.”
“Precisely when I have a momentary lapse in vertical control.” My arm jumped as if Itxata had smacked it. I have to learn to watch my mouth.
He helped me up from the floor and gave me an odd expression.
“You are quite hot.”
“There's a compliment you don't hear very often.”
Tryst frowned.
I pushed him away from me slightly, he was hovering over me.
“I meant your skin temperature.”
I heard the doors chirp.
That's the second time I've opened my eyes to squished carpet fibers scratching my corneas. Apparently I need to learn to control my mouth AND my body better.
“You need to rest. How much radiation have you been in?”
I felt like an odd laboratory animal the way he was checking my skin and poking parts of my arm as he helped me onto my bed. “I didn't think I had received very much... I went out into the dome earlier.”
“You've received a package from your family. I will cancel your appointments for today – and you will have uninterrupted rest – I'm certain you've had way too much radiation for your genetic makeup.”
I was going to object – but the golden fire in his eyes told me that I'd better not. Better let the mad scientist have his way with his experimental rat. Tryst set the package on the bed. What in the hell would they have sent me? Ahhh, I saw Dune's persona tag - he was on.
“I will be available at all times through the paging system – contact me immediately should you need anything.”
“Understood.”
He gave me another odd glance and exited. I breathed. I don't know why I'm so stressed when he's around. So what had home sent me? I opened the box. Oooh, a message from Itxata, an over the top foofoo fluffy pink wrapped box – which inside was an ancient looking carbon-scored metal container tagged with Dune's mark, messages from Darx and Drendyn, my music cube, some hair sticks, and a bottle of pills marked in Itxata's handwriting, labeled “Flower supplements,” what the hell?
“Dune, what the hell is this container?”
“What?! Oh, hi. How else could I smuggle another vial of living metal to you? I had to send you a package from home, duh.”
“I've blacked out and collapsed twice now – and I don't think it has to do with the heat – but according to Tryst, my skin is hot.”
“No. You're having a very specific withdrawal – which I figured from the course your withdrawals have been running. You're lucky I've learned how to very crassly edit the living metal – only the outer structures, mind you – but to the point that I can fix your withdrawal symptoms.”
“Krietsit. So what's wrong with me?”
“You're overheating from the living metal mechanics going on in your system – you don't have an adequate cooling medium for your genetics. If you had been a Fire, Air, or Stone – your heat tolerance would be drastically different – but your Energy genetics operate at a cold tolerance, with very little heat coping systems.”
Ha! Tryst was right – I've had too much radiation, external and internal.
“Would that also affect my consumption desires?”
“You should have been wanting to only drink and not eat.”
“No – I've been wanting to eat and drink everything in sight – but it makes me ill.”
And it runs right through me... I rolled my eyes.
“Ah hell. No, that's not something I had calculated. Hellfire. Ok, let me work on that – I'll need a quick scan.”
I tried to relax.
“I'll have to do a more intrusive scan – you're scanning as a classic perfect flower brain – no alterations. This might feel... odd.”
Odd? GAH! Try itching ON THE INSIDE OF YOUR SKULL!
“Hell – take that injection right away – or you're going to combust on me. Oh, I received those vials from the lab - they're most definitely samples swiped from you - male blood, female blood, and female flower blood. The control is your male blood. I'm not sure how anyone got your male blood - and whomever did it most likely knows your secret. Also in all of the times you've had your blood sampled - do you remember seeing any trace of living metal?"
"No... So why is Kast's name on the vials?"
"I'm guessing he's the one that submitted the vials... or maybe they were taken from him? Normally I tag my vials like that when I submit them to a research lab in the academy."
"Oh, you grabbed another vial - one from a Fire male - that much I can tell, but I can't match the DNA to anyone."
Fire Male?
"Send me the map and I'll see if I can find out."
"Ok. Sent. Oh, quick note – Kellan was forced back into detox – he was found wiped out in the middle of the study corridor by Darkyn a few cycles ago.”
“That's depressing. Is Darkyn doing better?”
“Darkyn has pulled himself together better now – or at least, he's faking better.”
Ugh.
“Ok, I need to go shoot up.”
“Please do it now.”
“I am. Bye.”
“Bye.”
I opened the metal container. Ahhh, good, Dune had provided me with a new syringe and some new needles. Hell. These were larger needles. Just what I wanted. My poor arm shuddered. This one is going to hurt. Leg? Yeah, I'll do this one in my thigh – hopefully it will hurt less there. I stripped off my clothes. Oh wow. My ribs showed. I've got to get some real food sometime. I slapped my thigh and tied it off. I expelled the air from the syringe and pushed the needle into the rubber stopper of the vial. Pulling the plunger, I loaded the syringe with the living metal.
Well. Hell. Why can't it be a pill? I slapped my thigh again.
I stuck the needle into my vein and pushed the plunger.
Liquid fire raced up my leg, filling all my extremities with an internal burn. I felt like I could explode into an untamed mass of flames. The fire hit my brain and I had to bite my tongue, hard, to keep from screaming. Water poured out my eyes. It was a blinding, stabbing nerve rush as the living metal flowed through my neurons – and then, it tightened. It felt like my brain froze in place. I couldn't breathe.
Darkness.
I was vaguely aware of the light in the room. My eyes and cheeks were salt-crusted. It took effort, but I opened my eyes. Uhhh. I was still in the suite in Iaonin. Krietsit, I'd better clean this up. I took the needle out of my thigh and placed it back in the metal container. I wrapped it all back up in the pink crap and shoved it all into my lotus pod bag that I had dropped on the floor. Ah hell I needed sleep. Something touched my arm. I jumped – but nothing was there. Then it felt like I was crawling all over. WHAT THE HELLFIRE! I scratched and twisted and created the most unnatural positions for my body to be in, trying to keep the crawlies off me. CRAWLIES EVERYWHERE! I freaked out and scratched every section of skin on my body. Then, I collapsed back onto the bed, exhausted, and too tired to scrape at the crawlies.
This was a bad trip.
I felt the brush of air as if someone walked past me. My eyes opened to a fuzzy darkness. I couldn't make anything out – but it all looked... right... except, I felt... restrictions. I felt restricted. I moved to pull my covers off, but I couldn't move my hands? My feet? My feet were tethered.
“You're quite restricted, Lyte.”
I nearly jumped out of my skin. That smell... Lemon.
“Kellan?”
“Yes, it's me, Lyte. I wouldn't pull on those tethers – they will get much tighter.”
“What?” Ok, no hands, no feet... What. In. The. HELLFIRE?
I heard him laugh to himself.
“I wouldn't want you getting away from me.”
Uhhhh. I felt sick.
“Are you going to kill me?”
“Oh no Lyte, that would be too easy on you. I want you to feel my anger, permanently.”
Holy Dhurkin Hellfire.
I felt his weight crush me.
“Do you know what I'm going to take from you? Do you know what I'm going to do?” His words were hot on my cheek.
I felt him touching me, lightly. I blushed. I suddenly felt utterly embarrassed.
“You've gotten too thin.”
I tried to turn my head away from his face. He forcefully twisted back to look at him.
“You're going to watch me. You're going to remember my face. You're going to see me in complete ecstasy while you suffer so much humiliation.”
Stop talking to hear yourself talk! If you're going to rape me, rape me already, don't make me listen to your monologue! I was so angry. I wasn't scared like he wanted me to be, I was livid. I wasn't humiliated either - he seemed unreal.
“You're quiet.”
“What do you want me to say to you, huh?” Krietsit, that was petulant. I'm going to pay for that.
“Oh you'll be saying what I want to hear soon enough, weed. Remember when you were male? Remember when I used to come into your room at night? You liked it then. I doubt you've changed.”
WHAT?! I tried remembering when I was male...
I tried to keep my body cold as a dead fish, unresponsive to what he was doing – but it kept betraying me. I tried focusing on objects behind him. I had to be unresponsive. I couldn't let him win that part of me.
“Say my name.” He was breathless.
“What?” I squeaked.
“SAY IT.”
I said nothing.
“SAY IT WEED!”
He shoved into me. I stifled a moan.
“YEAH. SAY IT WEED. SAY MY NAME!”
He was so fast and hard now, it was all blurry. I couldn't focus on staying unresponsive. I couldn't focus.
“SAY IT YOU WEED!”
He slapped my face. I screamed. I lost the battle as my body betrayed me. My focus was gone. I was moaning.
“YEAH. YEAH. SAY MY NAME!”
“Kellan...” I whispered.
“SCREAM IT.”
I screamed his name. I kept screaming his name. It was almost over.
“LYTE!”
I was being shaken. I felt my hands free. I struck. I opened my eyes. Tryst had one hand over the side of his mouth, and the other on my shoulder.
“Tryst?” I whispered... my throat was dry.
“In the flesh... and blood.”
“I. I-.” I put my hands over my face and screamed.
“Lyte – you're safe. No one is here.” He spoke very softly, I could barely hear him.
“Kellan.” My voice was inaudible. Air left my lungs for speech, but was mostly just let out into the sweat-filled cloud hanging in the room.
“He's not here. No one has been here.”
“But he.. he – I – and...”
“No, no one has been here. Only you... and I.”
I pulled my hands down from my face. The lights of the room were on, it must be late twilight, judging from the red light glowing around the window.
“I need to take your blood... I need to test for something right now.”
PANIC.
“Give me your arm.” He opened the medical kit on the wall and pulled down a blood tester unit. I shut my eyes and extended my arm. I felt the quick scrape and then the four simultaneous pokes. I felt nauseous. I saw an urgent message from Dune flashing in my vision. It will have to wait just a bit.
Tryst shook the strips that he pulled out of the tester unit.
“You're positive. You've been psion-raped. Did you say Kellan? Your brother Kellan?” He flashed the bright purple strips in front of me.
“Yes. Kellan.” I hugged my knees to me.
“Were you female or male in the sequence?”
WHAT THE HELL KIND OF QUESTION WAS THAT?! I needed to bathe.
“Female.” I put my head down onto my knees.
“I have to ask you these questions, I'm sorry. Did you feel as if you had insects crawling over you before you went to sleep?”
“Yes.” Hell, I thought that was a side effect of the living metal injection. I felt itchy. I had to bathe.
“Just one more question, I'm sorry. I know this one will be painful.”
He was staring at me – with a look that I would expect to see in a murderer – cold violence. I took a deep breath.
“Were you overpowered to the point you couldn't focus and gave in to what he wanted and was doing?”
I wanted to crawl into the palms of my hands. I squeezed my eyes tightly shut. Tears were forced out the sides and down my cheeks. I felt Tryst wipe them off.
“I promise this is the last question. Then you can go bathe.” He whispered.
“Yes.” I mouthed the word. I couldn't speak it. I felt so... weak. Powerless. I hated myself. This was the first time I had felt like a pitiful flower since I died.
“Ah, ok. Go into the washroom and bathe. Take this when you're dried off.”
He handed me a blue gel pills.
I wrapped the sheet around me and went into the washroom. I turned on the water and slumped down next to the closed doors, sobbing. Never again. I will never again be anyone's victim. No one controls me. I'm never going to be a helpless flower again.
Note to self, pomegranate runs right through you.
So I'm sitting on the toilet, which is where I always do my best thinking anyway. I had just nearly run over Tryst desperately trying to make it to the wash room in time to keep from peeing myself. First, I had gone to the wrong room, and then I thought I was going to have to break into the new room as the door wouldn't open to my authorization band at first. When I finally got the door open and ran like I was on fire to the wash room, I smacked squarely into Tryst.
Note to self #2, the next time you make an excuse to leave somewhere remember how this excuse came back to bite you squarely on the ass. Literally.
Yeah, I got that. Maybe you'll remember it then. I doubt it. I know.
Why the hell was Tryst here? Did he find out about the break in? Panic. No, there's no way he could know about that. Right? I need to calm down now. And I need to get off the toilet. Hellfire. You CAN be cool can't you? Of course you can. So finish washing up and go be cool. Because you can't be cool sitting on a toilet. I washed my hands and exited the washroom.
I opened my eyes to a face full of carpet.
“Apparently I arrived at an appropriate time.”
“Precisely when I have a momentary lapse in vertical control.” My arm jumped as if Itxata had smacked it. I have to learn to watch my mouth.
He helped me up from the floor and gave me an odd expression.
“You are quite hot.”
“There's a compliment you don't hear very often.”
Tryst frowned.
I pushed him away from me slightly, he was hovering over me.
“I meant your skin temperature.”
I heard the doors chirp.
That's the second time I've opened my eyes to squished carpet fibers scratching my corneas. Apparently I need to learn to control my mouth AND my body better.
“You need to rest. How much radiation have you been in?”
I felt like an odd laboratory animal the way he was checking my skin and poking parts of my arm as he helped me onto my bed. “I didn't think I had received very much... I went out into the dome earlier.”
“You've received a package from your family. I will cancel your appointments for today – and you will have uninterrupted rest – I'm certain you've had way too much radiation for your genetic makeup.”
I was going to object – but the golden fire in his eyes told me that I'd better not. Better let the mad scientist have his way with his experimental rat. Tryst set the package on the bed. What in the hell would they have sent me? Ahhh, I saw Dune's persona tag - he was on.
“I will be available at all times through the paging system – contact me immediately should you need anything.”
“Understood.”
He gave me another odd glance and exited. I breathed. I don't know why I'm so stressed when he's around. So what had home sent me? I opened the box. Oooh, a message from Itxata, an over the top foofoo fluffy pink wrapped box – which inside was an ancient looking carbon-scored metal container tagged with Dune's mark, messages from Darx and Drendyn, my music cube, some hair sticks, and a bottle of pills marked in Itxata's handwriting, labeled “Flower supplements,” what the hell?
“Dune, what the hell is this container?”
“What?! Oh, hi. How else could I smuggle another vial of living metal to you? I had to send you a package from home, duh.”
“I've blacked out and collapsed twice now – and I don't think it has to do with the heat – but according to Tryst, my skin is hot.”
“No. You're having a very specific withdrawal – which I figured from the course your withdrawals have been running. You're lucky I've learned how to very crassly edit the living metal – only the outer structures, mind you – but to the point that I can fix your withdrawal symptoms.”
“Krietsit. So what's wrong with me?”
“You're overheating from the living metal mechanics going on in your system – you don't have an adequate cooling medium for your genetics. If you had been a Fire, Air, or Stone – your heat tolerance would be drastically different – but your Energy genetics operate at a cold tolerance, with very little heat coping systems.”
Ha! Tryst was right – I've had too much radiation, external and internal.
“Would that also affect my consumption desires?”
“You should have been wanting to only drink and not eat.”
“No – I've been wanting to eat and drink everything in sight – but it makes me ill.”
And it runs right through me... I rolled my eyes.
“Ah hell. No, that's not something I had calculated. Hellfire. Ok, let me work on that – I'll need a quick scan.”
I tried to relax.
“I'll have to do a more intrusive scan – you're scanning as a classic perfect flower brain – no alterations. This might feel... odd.”
Odd? GAH! Try itching ON THE INSIDE OF YOUR SKULL!
“Hell – take that injection right away – or you're going to combust on me. Oh, I received those vials from the lab - they're most definitely samples swiped from you - male blood, female blood, and female flower blood. The control is your male blood. I'm not sure how anyone got your male blood - and whomever did it most likely knows your secret. Also in all of the times you've had your blood sampled - do you remember seeing any trace of living metal?"
"No... So why is Kast's name on the vials?"
"I'm guessing he's the one that submitted the vials... or maybe they were taken from him? Normally I tag my vials like that when I submit them to a research lab in the academy."
"Oh, you grabbed another vial - one from a Fire male - that much I can tell, but I can't match the DNA to anyone."
Fire Male?
"Send me the map and I'll see if I can find out."
"Ok. Sent. Oh, quick note – Kellan was forced back into detox – he was found wiped out in the middle of the study corridor by Darkyn a few cycles ago.”
“That's depressing. Is Darkyn doing better?”
“Darkyn has pulled himself together better now – or at least, he's faking better.”
Ugh.
“Ok, I need to go shoot up.”
“Please do it now.”
“I am. Bye.”
“Bye.”
I opened the metal container. Ahhh, good, Dune had provided me with a new syringe and some new needles. Hell. These were larger needles. Just what I wanted. My poor arm shuddered. This one is going to hurt. Leg? Yeah, I'll do this one in my thigh – hopefully it will hurt less there. I stripped off my clothes. Oh wow. My ribs showed. I've got to get some real food sometime. I slapped my thigh and tied it off. I expelled the air from the syringe and pushed the needle into the rubber stopper of the vial. Pulling the plunger, I loaded the syringe with the living metal.
Well. Hell. Why can't it be a pill? I slapped my thigh again.
I stuck the needle into my vein and pushed the plunger.
Liquid fire raced up my leg, filling all my extremities with an internal burn. I felt like I could explode into an untamed mass of flames. The fire hit my brain and I had to bite my tongue, hard, to keep from screaming. Water poured out my eyes. It was a blinding, stabbing nerve rush as the living metal flowed through my neurons – and then, it tightened. It felt like my brain froze in place. I couldn't breathe.
Darkness.
I was vaguely aware of the light in the room. My eyes and cheeks were salt-crusted. It took effort, but I opened my eyes. Uhhh. I was still in the suite in Iaonin. Krietsit, I'd better clean this up. I took the needle out of my thigh and placed it back in the metal container. I wrapped it all back up in the pink crap and shoved it all into my lotus pod bag that I had dropped on the floor. Ah hell I needed sleep. Something touched my arm. I jumped – but nothing was there. Then it felt like I was crawling all over. WHAT THE HELLFIRE! I scratched and twisted and created the most unnatural positions for my body to be in, trying to keep the crawlies off me. CRAWLIES EVERYWHERE! I freaked out and scratched every section of skin on my body. Then, I collapsed back onto the bed, exhausted, and too tired to scrape at the crawlies.
This was a bad trip.
I felt the brush of air as if someone walked past me. My eyes opened to a fuzzy darkness. I couldn't make anything out – but it all looked... right... except, I felt... restrictions. I felt restricted. I moved to pull my covers off, but I couldn't move my hands? My feet? My feet were tethered.
“You're quite restricted, Lyte.”
I nearly jumped out of my skin. That smell... Lemon.
“Kellan?”
“Yes, it's me, Lyte. I wouldn't pull on those tethers – they will get much tighter.”
“What?” Ok, no hands, no feet... What. In. The. HELLFIRE?
I heard him laugh to himself.
“I wouldn't want you getting away from me.”
Uhhhh. I felt sick.
“Are you going to kill me?”
“Oh no Lyte, that would be too easy on you. I want you to feel my anger, permanently.”
Holy Dhurkin Hellfire.
I felt his weight crush me.
“Do you know what I'm going to take from you? Do you know what I'm going to do?” His words were hot on my cheek.
I felt him touching me, lightly. I blushed. I suddenly felt utterly embarrassed.
“You've gotten too thin.”
I tried to turn my head away from his face. He forcefully twisted back to look at him.
“You're going to watch me. You're going to remember my face. You're going to see me in complete ecstasy while you suffer so much humiliation.”
Stop talking to hear yourself talk! If you're going to rape me, rape me already, don't make me listen to your monologue! I was so angry. I wasn't scared like he wanted me to be, I was livid. I wasn't humiliated either - he seemed unreal.
“You're quiet.”
“What do you want me to say to you, huh?” Krietsit, that was petulant. I'm going to pay for that.
“Oh you'll be saying what I want to hear soon enough, weed. Remember when you were male? Remember when I used to come into your room at night? You liked it then. I doubt you've changed.”
WHAT?! I tried remembering when I was male...
I tried to keep my body cold as a dead fish, unresponsive to what he was doing – but it kept betraying me. I tried focusing on objects behind him. I had to be unresponsive. I couldn't let him win that part of me.
“Say my name.” He was breathless.
“What?” I squeaked.
“SAY IT.”
I said nothing.
“SAY IT WEED!”
He shoved into me. I stifled a moan.
“YEAH. SAY IT WEED. SAY MY NAME!”
He was so fast and hard now, it was all blurry. I couldn't focus on staying unresponsive. I couldn't focus.
“SAY IT YOU WEED!”
He slapped my face. I screamed. I lost the battle as my body betrayed me. My focus was gone. I was moaning.
“YEAH. YEAH. SAY MY NAME!”
“Kellan...” I whispered.
“SCREAM IT.”
I screamed his name. I kept screaming his name. It was almost over.
“LYTE!”
I was being shaken. I felt my hands free. I struck. I opened my eyes. Tryst had one hand over the side of his mouth, and the other on my shoulder.
“Tryst?” I whispered... my throat was dry.
“In the flesh... and blood.”
“I. I-.” I put my hands over my face and screamed.
“Lyte – you're safe. No one is here.” He spoke very softly, I could barely hear him.
“Kellan.” My voice was inaudible. Air left my lungs for speech, but was mostly just let out into the sweat-filled cloud hanging in the room.
“He's not here. No one has been here.”
“But he.. he – I – and...”
“No, no one has been here. Only you... and I.”
I pulled my hands down from my face. The lights of the room were on, it must be late twilight, judging from the red light glowing around the window.
“I need to take your blood... I need to test for something right now.”
PANIC.
“Give me your arm.” He opened the medical kit on the wall and pulled down a blood tester unit. I shut my eyes and extended my arm. I felt the quick scrape and then the four simultaneous pokes. I felt nauseous. I saw an urgent message from Dune flashing in my vision. It will have to wait just a bit.
Tryst shook the strips that he pulled out of the tester unit.
“You're positive. You've been psion-raped. Did you say Kellan? Your brother Kellan?” He flashed the bright purple strips in front of me.
“Yes. Kellan.” I hugged my knees to me.
“Were you female or male in the sequence?”
WHAT THE HELL KIND OF QUESTION WAS THAT?! I needed to bathe.
“Female.” I put my head down onto my knees.
“I have to ask you these questions, I'm sorry. Did you feel as if you had insects crawling over you before you went to sleep?”
“Yes.” Hell, I thought that was a side effect of the living metal injection. I felt itchy. I had to bathe.
“Just one more question, I'm sorry. I know this one will be painful.”
He was staring at me – with a look that I would expect to see in a murderer – cold violence. I took a deep breath.
“Were you overpowered to the point you couldn't focus and gave in to what he wanted and was doing?”
I wanted to crawl into the palms of my hands. I squeezed my eyes tightly shut. Tears were forced out the sides and down my cheeks. I felt Tryst wipe them off.
“I promise this is the last question. Then you can go bathe.” He whispered.
“Yes.” I mouthed the word. I couldn't speak it. I felt so... weak. Powerless. I hated myself. This was the first time I had felt like a pitiful flower since I died.
“Ah, ok. Go into the washroom and bathe. Take this when you're dried off.”
He handed me a blue gel pills.
I wrapped the sheet around me and went into the washroom. I turned on the water and slumped down next to the closed doors, sobbing. Never again. I will never again be anyone's victim. No one controls me. I'm never going to be a helpless flower again.
posted by Peach @ 4:59 PM
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